perspective.

It's kind of crazy sometimes how life changes so quickly. This was me a year ago ------------->

I was getting ready to go to Florida for the Inaugural USA Rugby Women's High Performance camp. Rugby was my life and my love. I had an amazing time at the camp; I got my butt worked,

I learned so much my brain could explode, and I got rained on. A lot. It was an incredible learning experience that I wouldn't trade for anything. At this time last year there was a high possibility in my mind that rugby would be something I stuck with for many more years. I was toying with the idea of moving to California or up to the northeast so I could continue my career by trying out for a WPL team. I was living my life to the fullest and loving every second of it. I loved the work I was getting to do with USA Rugby, I LOVED how my WCR team

was shaping up, things were all falling into place. My last semester at BYU was one of the best I had. I was playing the sport I loved, coaching the other sport I loved and taking classes I loved. Everything seemed to be going just perfectly. But something was off, for some reason I just wasn't getting any clarity towards what I should do after graduation. I thought it was maybe me just being nervous about this step towards the unknown or not wanting to think about leaving BYU, but whatever it was, I wasn't worried about it yet. Soon the semester started nearing its end. Friends left and right were preparing to go on missions, classmates had jobs and grad schools lined up, and I was still "figuring things out." Even though it wasn't ideal, I had a lot more on my mind to worry about. Graduation, playoffs, moving back to Texas, these were my top priorities. After all of that was finished, then I could worry about my future. Graduation came, I walked the stage. Playoffs came, we played our hearts out. My time in Provo was quickly coming to an end. It was like that closing scene in a movie with the montage of all the memories, (the good, the bad, the happy, the sad) playing to a dramatic and emotional song. I walked out of the apartment that had been home for 3 years to the parking lot I was so familiar with. I drove on the familiar roads I now knew like the back of my hand. It was the day that had seemed so far away, it was the day that was forever on the horizon, yet here it was. I was filled with a sense of sadness and loss, of fear and uncertainty. What was

in store for me now? Where was I going with my life? I was happy to be coming home, to be back in Texas with family and good friends I'd missed, but there was a big part of me that wasn't sure if I was ready for this.

The next few months were spent in an odd state of limbo and indecision. I had a rugby camp in June, a family vacation in July, I wasn't working. Mostly I was avoiding thinking about anything of importance. Enter the wonderful people in my life who (metaphorically) hit me upside the head and made me really think about what I was doing. Thanks to some deep conversations with them and between myself and Heavenly Father, I knew what I had to do. It wasn't what I had originally wanted to be doing, but I knew it was what I had been needing to do all along. I remember, distinctly, the night I realized that rugby was ending for me. At least for a little while. I don't know if I'll play again, if I'll just stay with coaching, but gone were the dreams of the WPL and the Women's World Cup for at least 18 months. Rugby had it's time with me, now it was my turn to give myself over to the Lord. I had been toying with the idea of a mission for months, but had been avoiding thinking about it seriously because I knew that meant an end to my current rugby aspirations. I talked to my Bishop, I started the paperwork, it was finally all coming together.

I wanted this to be something I was prepared for, I wanted to make sure if I was going on a mission that I was doing it right. I kept it pretty quiet, I wanted it to be just between me, my family, and the Lord for the first little bit. I knew it was going to take time and effort, but I felt ready. It started slowly, mostly because I was nervous and still hoping that I was making the right choice. And then it started becoming easier. I was getting more excited, things were coming together.

It was like every talk I heard or scripture I read was reaffirming that thought and helping me grow. I finally felt like I had an answer that was clear and definitive in my mind.

This is me today --------->

I know where I'm going with my life. Well at least in general. My call won't be here for another few weeks or so, but soon I'll know where it is the Lord wants me to be for the next 18 months. I may not have my career laid out or a rugby life in the works, but I wouldn't trade this life I have right now for anything because I know it is exactly the life I'm supposed to be leading. It's not perfect, it's not always easy, but it's mine. I didn't know how it was all going to turn out, I felt uncertain and confused for more time than I wanted, but I thank my Father in Heaven everyday for the blessings in my life and this opportunity I have ahead of me. 2012 is certainly shaping up to be a good year.