the happiest place on earth

Things in my life have certainly been amazing the last few weeks and they're only looking to get better. We're pretty certain my mission call will be coming tomorrow. We're going to Disneyland next Wednesday for a whole weekend of fun with Marci and Christian. I'm going to have so much more time on my hands once I'm back from Disney. My rugby boys are getting into full swing. Life is wonderful. It feels like it's been a long time coming, but it all feels so right. I don't think it's really set in that I might be holding my call in my hands tomorrow. I can't really think about it or it takes my focus away from anything else I may have to be doing.

I know this isn't a very long update, but I just wanted to share how grateful I am for all the blessings in my life and to share my excitement for this next phase of my life. I am in the happiest place on earth.

and now we wait.

Remember how I am terrible at being patient? No? Let me explain. I am not a patient person. In almost any sense. I get frustrated when I'm stuck in traffic, I hate being stuck behind people that walk slow, I can't stand waiting on test results/grades of any kind. Basically, I just don't like waiting. Stefanie makes fun of me a lot because I like to do things fast and she prefers to do things slowly. It's even become a running joke with our nieces. When they do things slowly they say they're like Aunt Stef and when they do things fast they say they're like Aunt Kayla. Through this whole mission prep process I've spent a lot of time praying for patience and making a conscious effort to be more patient. I knew there would be a lot of waiting I would have to do and my lack of patience was going to make those waiting periods feel a lot longer than they actually are. So when I finally got all my paperwork done and handed off to the Bishop I prepared myself to wait. He had to finish a few things, then send them to the Stake President, then the Stake President would talk with me, then he would finish his part, then they would be sent to Salt Lake, and then FINALLY my call would make it's way back to me. That's a lot of waiting. But I wanted to prove to the Lord that I could do it. That I would patiently wait and know that good things come to those who wait.

So I waited. Bishop sent everything over to the Stake President. I waited some more. Stake President's Interview finally got set up. I waited for that to happen. 3 weeks from when I handed everything to the Bishop and now it's out of my hands completely. Tonight my papers electronically fly to Salt Lake City where they will be reviewed and I will be assigned a calling as a missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. This will be the hardest wait for me. At least I think. I think it will be the hardest because I want to know where I'm going and when I get to go. I have always had a love of knowledge and knowing things. I want to know everything about where the Lord wants me to serve. I want to research it and study it and figure out what I need to do to prepare. But I can't do any of that until I get that big, fat, white envelope in the mail. So I will wait. And I will be grateful for the waiting because I need to learn to be more patient. I will wait and pray and study what I can. I will fill my time with work and rugby and writing long-winded blog posts that tend to ramble. I am so excited for the day when everything comes full circle and I find out what the future has in store for me. I will wait patiently for the day when I get to be surrounded by people I love as I open that big, fat, white letter and see what the Lord has in store for me. And then I will wait again. For the day when I get to give 100% of myself to share a message I hold near and dear to my heart. A message of hope, peace, and love.

Sorry for the rambling. This is what happens when I'm trying to be patient. In other news, we are now accepting guesses for where I will be called to serve. A giant map will be in my house for the next few weeks where all guesses will be marked and we may even come up with a prize for whoever gets closest. Stay tuned cyber world, the waiting will all be worth it in the end.

perspective.

It's kind of crazy sometimes how life changes so quickly. This was me a year ago ------------->

I was getting ready to go to Florida for the Inaugural USA Rugby Women's High Performance camp. Rugby was my life and my love. I had an amazing time at the camp; I got my butt worked,

I learned so much my brain could explode, and I got rained on. A lot. It was an incredible learning experience that I wouldn't trade for anything. At this time last year there was a high possibility in my mind that rugby would be something I stuck with for many more years. I was toying with the idea of moving to California or up to the northeast so I could continue my career by trying out for a WPL team. I was living my life to the fullest and loving every second of it. I loved the work I was getting to do with USA Rugby, I LOVED how my WCR team

was shaping up, things were all falling into place. My last semester at BYU was one of the best I had. I was playing the sport I loved, coaching the other sport I loved and taking classes I loved. Everything seemed to be going just perfectly. But something was off, for some reason I just wasn't getting any clarity towards what I should do after graduation. I thought it was maybe me just being nervous about this step towards the unknown or not wanting to think about leaving BYU, but whatever it was, I wasn't worried about it yet. Soon the semester started nearing its end. Friends left and right were preparing to go on missions, classmates had jobs and grad schools lined up, and I was still "figuring things out." Even though it wasn't ideal, I had a lot more on my mind to worry about. Graduation, playoffs, moving back to Texas, these were my top priorities. After all of that was finished, then I could worry about my future. Graduation came, I walked the stage. Playoffs came, we played our hearts out. My time in Provo was quickly coming to an end. It was like that closing scene in a movie with the montage of all the memories, (the good, the bad, the happy, the sad) playing to a dramatic and emotional song. I walked out of the apartment that had been home for 3 years to the parking lot I was so familiar with. I drove on the familiar roads I now knew like the back of my hand. It was the day that had seemed so far away, it was the day that was forever on the horizon, yet here it was. I was filled with a sense of sadness and loss, of fear and uncertainty. What was

in store for me now? Where was I going with my life? I was happy to be coming home, to be back in Texas with family and good friends I'd missed, but there was a big part of me that wasn't sure if I was ready for this.

The next few months were spent in an odd state of limbo and indecision. I had a rugby camp in June, a family vacation in July, I wasn't working. Mostly I was avoiding thinking about anything of importance. Enter the wonderful people in my life who (metaphorically) hit me upside the head and made me really think about what I was doing. Thanks to some deep conversations with them and between myself and Heavenly Father, I knew what I had to do. It wasn't what I had originally wanted to be doing, but I knew it was what I had been needing to do all along. I remember, distinctly, the night I realized that rugby was ending for me. At least for a little while. I don't know if I'll play again, if I'll just stay with coaching, but gone were the dreams of the WPL and the Women's World Cup for at least 18 months. Rugby had it's time with me, now it was my turn to give myself over to the Lord. I had been toying with the idea of a mission for months, but had been avoiding thinking about it seriously because I knew that meant an end to my current rugby aspirations. I talked to my Bishop, I started the paperwork, it was finally all coming together.

I wanted this to be something I was prepared for, I wanted to make sure if I was going on a mission that I was doing it right. I kept it pretty quiet, I wanted it to be just between me, my family, and the Lord for the first little bit. I knew it was going to take time and effort, but I felt ready. It started slowly, mostly because I was nervous and still hoping that I was making the right choice. And then it started becoming easier. I was getting more excited, things were coming together.

It was like every talk I heard or scripture I read was reaffirming that thought and helping me grow. I finally felt like I had an answer that was clear and definitive in my mind.

This is me today --------->

I know where I'm going with my life. Well at least in general. My call won't be here for another few weeks or so, but soon I'll know where it is the Lord wants me to be for the next 18 months. I may not have my career laid out or a rugby life in the works, but I wouldn't trade this life I have right now for anything because I know it is exactly the life I'm supposed to be leading. It's not perfect, it's not always easy, but it's mine. I didn't know how it was all going to turn out, I felt uncertain and confused for more time than I wanted, but I thank my Father in Heaven everyday for the blessings in my life and this opportunity I have ahead of me. 2012 is certainly shaping up to be a good year.

how I learned what it feels like to be a big sister

So as I've been reading back through my old posts, I found I have not given justice to a very important part of my last year at school. In October of last year I found out that Provo High was looking for an assistant basketball coach to work with the Freshman and Sophomores. At that point of my coaching minor I didn't have an internship lined up and I was quickly running out of time. Thinking I surely wouldn't have the time to commit to this with such an important rugby season on the horizon, I set up an interview and went to just see what it would be like. The minute I walked into that gym I knew I would be staying there. The feeling of how right it was, that this was where I needed to be was overwhelming. Luckily the coach liked me and liked what I could bring to the team, my internship was officially in the works. As I watched the girls playing I was reminded of how much I loved and missed basketball. Rugby had been so important for so long, but basketball was my first love.

It was a new experience for me, stepping into the role of coach. None of these girls knew me, I didn't even really know if I knew what I doing, but it still felt so right. I was very excited to get started and I knew it would all work out eventually. Tryouts started as rugby was finishing up and the first thing I noticed was how different basketball in Utah was from basketball in Texas. In Texas, freshman basketball teams were all experienced. Maybe not spectacularly good, but almost all the girls had been playing ball for at least 2 or 3 years. Watching the first day of tryouts I saw girls who had been playing for years and girls who had maybe shot a basketball 3 times. It was a daunting task ahead, but for some reason that made it more exciting. Coach Moore brought in two other girls (former Provo High players and current BYU students) to work with me and the Freshman/Sophomore squad. Ellen and Karissa were the best co-coaches anyone could ask for. As we got our team set and our practices going I knew we were going to be hard-pressed to not have fun with the group we had. Between the girls and the coaches there was never a dull moment at practice or any team function for that matter. Team dinners, warm-up, bus rides. Always laughing, [almost] never not laughing. The really special thing about this team was their heart. We may not have had the most talented team in Utah, but they gave so much of themselves, they wanted to make us proud as coaches. We didn't always win, but I wouldn't trade that team for any other.

I didn't think I would get so close with my girls. That's a lie. I knew I would get attached to them, but what I didn't expect was how much love they expressed to me. I'm pretty sure I got more hugs in that one basketball season than I think I got in all 4 years of college. It's hard to describe the kind of team dynamic we had, but it was one built on love and respect. I wanted my girls to love basketball like I loved basketball even if they weren't winning, I wanted them to be able to feel proud of their accomplishments even if it wasn't 20 points a game. Telling them that I wouldn't be there to coach the next season nearly broke my heart, having to say goodbye to them was like leaving a part of my family. It became about more than just basketball with them, it was an experience I wouldn't trade anything for.

They tell me all the time how much they wished I was up there coaching this season and they tell me all about their games. I know I went to Provo High for that meeting for a reason and I know those girls were that reason. So to all my coaches; Moore, Ralphs, Liz, Ellen, and Karissa, to all my girls; to Remi, Taylor, Hayley, Sarah, Tiare, Lisa, Elle, Kate, Kelly, Adri, Asay, Sam, Maddie, Emily, Rachel, Noa, Michelle, Sierra, Dewey, Dani, Tala, Cindy, Chelsea, Shelby, Sammi, Melaina, Jenessa, Weez, Alexis, Koop, and Al, I just want to say thank you. You've made me a better person and you've taught me more than I ever thought I'd learn as a coach. This won't be a season I will soon forget.

it's a miracle

second blog post in a week! This will be a little short, but I just wanted to post some exciting news. No, I have not received my mission call yet. But, coming in a close second, I'm getting to coach again! Last night I had my first night as a coach with the Alliance Rugby Club (ARC). I will officially be the Girls High School Head Coach and I will be assisting with the JV boys. Maybe sometimes even the varsity boys, but I'm not sure on that one. I'm so happy I'm finally getting to coach rugby, I can't wait to get going.

I know it's short, but it's progress. New Years Resolutions will not defeat me this year!

O! PS- I forgot to put this in my last post, but I've got a friend who picks one word for the year to help keep focused on resolutions and goals throughout the year. I'm stealing this idea from her.

My word for 2012: Diligence.

one of those new years posts...

Well hello blogging world, nice to see you again. I know, it's been a while. I've never been good at keeping a blog, but I'm seriously going to try and make this happen. Just a few things have happened since I last posted. I saw all of my family, I got a (real) job, I made some new friends, I visited Utah, I ate a lot of turkey and goodies, I'm still finishing those online classes... you know, minimal stuff. I'll highlight some the best parts for the sake of my sparse reading populace:

New job- I am currently a chiropractic assistant at Back in Motion Family Chiropractic in Hurst. It's pretty great, I'm definitely enjoying the perks of having money again. I miss school, but work is good.

Church- Most people are aware of this, but for those who aren't: I'm planning on serving a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. My papers are almost done and I should have my call before February. More info to come one that later.

Friends- My ward is amazing here. So many new friends made, so many good memories. Love them all.

Family- My family is amazing. I saw everyone in July and loved every second. Marci and Christian came down in September. Maya is talking, Dean is walking. It's crazy how fast they grow. We eat so much good food at my house it's ridiculous.

Rugby- I miss it. A lot. A LOT. I try to get out and pass the ball around when I can, but it's not often. I miss my team. My teams. My rugby family.

Online classes- still happening. Sorry about that Mom.

So that's my last 6 months in a nutshell. Sorry it's so bare bones. I'm really going to try harder to be good at this. As a promise I leave this list of New Years Resolutions:

1) Write in my blog weekly (I know, this one's ambitious).

2) Write in my journal at least every other day (Also ambitious).

3) Find opportunities to serve weekly.

4) Grow spiritually by daily prayer and gospel study.

5) Go through the temple.

6) Serve a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

I would say that's a pretty solid list. Here's to you 2012, I've got a good feeling about this year.

I really tried...

to be good at blogging. It's just a little hard sometimes with all that's been going on the last little while. So this post will be a brief overview of what's happened in the last 6 weeks or so of my life.

My last post was done the day before we left for the Final 4 in California. We took a big charter bus out there and got all settled on Thursday at the Longhurst's. My mom, dad and sister flew out from Texas to cheer me on (they even made shirts with my face on them). It was a very exciting time. Our game came Friday afternoon and we played in what some people described as the best game of collegiate women's rugby they'd seen. It was a back and forth battle with Army, they were a very talented team and everything seemed to be clicking for them. We had some struggles in the backline, but we were putting together good phases and capitalizing on most opportunities. With 4 minutes left we were down by 4, but it just wasn't our year. Our run ended losing, once again, to the eventual national champions. Army went on to beat Penn State in the championship while we watched from the stands. It was a hard end to an amazing season, but the fact remains that our team did what's never been done, our team made history. I'll never forget this team or the experiences I had with them. WCR forever.

After playoffs, I headed back to Provo for my last week there. Saying goodbye is never easy, especially when you don't know when you'll be seeing those people next. It was a pretty crammed week, but I got a lot of people in and had quite a bit of fun while I was at it. My Dad flew out Friday morning and we got ourselves on the road that afternoon to make the long drive home. I loved my time in Provo, I loved BYU, but I was ready to be home in Texas. I missed home.

I only had two weeks at home before I was on the road again. On June 5th I flew out to Pittsburgh, PA for a week of rugby joy. O I had missed rugby. The first part of the week was a 3 day Women's High Performance academy camp. It was amazing to be with such high level coaches and a smaller group of players working on real technical detail and skill. I loved every second of it. The best part was being with so many players that I know and love. 4 of my teammates were there (Bex, Ela, Kara, and Curly) and there were 4 or 5 of my All-American teammates. It was awesome to be with everyone again. I don't know where I'd be without my rugby family, I love them all so much. The second part of the week I got to add more love to my rugby family by playing with the Pacific Coast Collegiate All-Stars. It was an amazing experience to get to play with those girls. You'd think it would be hard to form a cohesive team in one day, but we came together quick. There was so much hard work out on that pitch and I couldn't have picked a better team to be with. We started the weekend with a scrimmage against MARFU that went really well for us. Our first game was Friday and, after a lovely rain delay, we got our start against SoCal. The game was a beautiful one for us, we were flowing, we were meshing, things were looking awesome. We closed out a great game with a solid 48-0 win. It was amazing to see this team come together like that after being together for like 36 hours. Friday night was spent with more bonding and a trip out to the city for an arts festival. Saturday we went bowling, had a short practice, did our rookie skit, just had a nice day with the team. Sunday We were set to meet South for the Tier 2 championship. This game would determine if we got to move up to Tier 1 next year or if we would be waiting another year for the shot at a championship. Last year Pac Coast was in the same place and lost to the USA u20's in overtime. We wanted to avenge that game. It was hard for me as I sat on the side and watched my team battle with all of their heart. It was a back and forth game, both teams wanted it so bad, both teams were skilled. We went into overtime. After 100 long, hard minutes of rugby, we came up just short. 20-15. I was happy for South, I know a couple girls on their team and they worked hard. Next year we'll be there again, next year we'll get our win. It was an amazing weekend with an amazing team. I was so happy to get more rugby family in my life.

After a week of hard rugby, my body was ready for a break. I got home and got to just relax, swim, tan, work on homework a little. It was nice, but I'm missing rugby. It's hard not having a team to play with around here, not even a buddy to pass the ball around with. I'm looking into finding something, but Texas isn't known for it's women's rugby. So for now I'm happy just being home with the family, relaxing and finishing up my last few classes online.

In other exciting news, we are going to Canada in ONE WEEK!!! I'm so excited to see Mac, Mel, Cami, Dean, Marci, Christian, Eden, Ella, and Maya!!! It will be the first time having the whole family together again since Christmas in Mexico, 2009. I get a whole 10 days of family fun. Best late birthday present EVER. Other than that, not much going on in my life. Hoping to be getting a job after Canada, I definitely need one.